My first STD was from a foam party
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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