it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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