Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
