RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
