You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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