It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
