we're making bets on your personal life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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