sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
