I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
