we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
