Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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