I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
