Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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