a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
