evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
