Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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