Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How does it feel to date your dad?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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