i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
