This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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