i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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