he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
