Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
