I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
