We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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