So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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