She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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