My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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