My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
