1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
