Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to make out with him forever
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
