so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
