If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
