his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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