I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
