The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize