I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
