Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
