Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i need an iv and a liver transplant
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize