You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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