Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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