So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
