That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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