That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
