I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
