A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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