There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
