I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Small penises have feelings too.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
