We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fuck appropriateness.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
