i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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