It's Friday. Sex?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
