I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
