All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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