therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
