I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
