i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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