I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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