we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
His nipple licking is glorious
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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