dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
