So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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