I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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