oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
