When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
