What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize